It’s been and up and down sort of summer but it’s been a healthy one! We haven’t really done anything, not gone away, or done anything exciting, but I was able to enjoy my kids and my husband. i’m still new to being a stoma girl, still got lots of challenges but because I have my wonderful husband to support me I can do anything! In two days I’ll be working a full day, and soon i’ll be starting a job as a school pastor 1 day a week. Whenever I get down, I thank squirt for giving me my life back. My fellow stoma girls aren’t having the best of times, making decisions about surgery, waiting for surgery, trying to get somewhere with doctors over surgery, and some struggling with life and their stoma. I will always be here for you guys! My stoma may be young, and some have a lot more experience but i have a big heart and you can sound of me or ask me to pray. We all need each other, and through having squirt I’ve met some amazing stoma girls around the world. Some a lot younger than me but wise beyond there years! i love you all guys!
ok, firstly after my experimenting on bags, sitting back analysing them, considering the pros and cons ( it’s the scientist in me! can’t help it!) i have decided to use a mixture of the eurotech bags for when i’m swimming and doing sporty type stuff, and using the microskin at other times! I wasn’t sure if you could do this, so was willing to drop the microskin if needs be. luckily you can use two different makes of bags! phew! So on to delivery companies! i was with a big company that used a seperate delivery firm, i never liked them! I love local! i don’t use supermarkets, i get all my fruit and veg from a farming cooperative which is big but also small at the same time. i get it delivered every week, what i ask for, sometimes special little gifts added from my wonderful farmer, I know my delivery driver really well. i wanted this sort of service with my bags! i noticed friends who lived midlands and down south used small companies with there own delivery driver, i wanted this so went looking. after the same sort of decisive sorting that I done with the bags, i found a nice local company with there own drivers, and a named member of staff who will deal with all my orders personally. i like not being a number! i pannicked when they couldn’t find my ‘swimming bags’ but she promised she’d sort it for me, 10 minutes later she rang me back to say she’d found them on the system, they’re a new product which is why she couldn’t find them earlier! I get my first delivery from them next monday! on to the subject of tears at bedtime! i’ve been strong, maybe too strong, pretending that having an ostomy is nothing. Yes i love my new life, crazy but true! ok i would have preferred not to have had UC to begin with but I did, so having UC or having the bag? no contest! i found on a few occasions i’ve just turned into a blubbering mess for no real reason. A wise friend recently ttold me it’s kind of a greiving process, that kind of helped as i thought i was going nuts!!! first time was a few weeks after my operation when a ‘friend’ commented on how fat i was looking that day! first day out in skinny jeans and t-shirt! had some tears, took a while to pull myself together. Dealt with it by clearing out all my clothes which were no longer appropriate. kept the jeans but was not keeping short t-shirts! Second time was beecause i wasn’t invited to a family get together because of my bag! normally i’d have just said there loss! but it kind of got to me and I realised i couldn’t stop crying! third time, a friend posted that she was going to a group meet for people with bowel problems, i got upset cause there was nothing like that up here up north! I felt so alone! so pulled myself together and set up notheast stoma girls! anyway burst intotears the other night, i’d been feeling so good for ages, with the article, the fashion video then just randomly read a conversation on facebook, some crohnie friends all decending on newcastle for the day to meet up they sounded so happy to be seeing each other, i longed for that, and for some stupid reason i just began to cry again! i guess it’s wanting to be around people who understand so you don’t have to be super strong all the time. it’s all silly cause i’ve got loads of wonderful friends and am gradually getting more local ostomates through the group. I think it’s good to let the tears out and sometimes you need silly little things to turn the tap on! Back to my usual happy self quite quickly, and ralised I’d not done anything about the ‘family’ situation, sso made a stateement on facebook about coming out of the toilet! and then deleted the lot of them! I’m always hard on myself, crying over nothing is weak, especially when there’s people out there whose lives are a lot worse, but keeping it in is probably not good. So let it out, pick yourself up and then get on with livong and loving life!
you were probably expecting part two of the bags – well that is coming soon! I’m still experimenting!
This week has been a whirlwind! My local paper rang me wanting to do a piece on living with ulcerative colitis, and northeast stoma girls. potographer came and spent ages taking photographs! I hate having my photo taken! yesterday the article was in the paper! My 5 minutes of fame!
the article can be found at http://www.journallive.co.uk/north-east-news/todays-news/2011/08/01/helping-north-east-victims-of-bowel-illnesses-61634-29153863/
Also this weekend I WENT OUT TO A PARTY in a lovely dress bought by my mum! It was nice seeing friends that I’d not seen in a long time – very emotional! i had a great day out at the airshow, not having to worry about queues for portaloos! and just to continue proving squirt doesn’t hold me back, i went on a red arrows flight simulator and got thrown around. entered a competition to wing walk. I’d love to do that! i’ll not win but if you don’t enter you’ll have no chance.
I completed the fashion video! a huge thank you to all my wonderful osto ‘mates’ who allowed me to use there photos, you made it look fab! it’s on you tube at http://youtu.be/hFPZKIeHgVo